A magic pill? Say it ain't so.

So per usual, it's been a while since I have posted. I have been waiting to hear back from my doctor after having a big hormone work up. But... There MAY be some SUPER exciting news!!! A lady that my husband works with told him to have me make an appointment with this eye doctor here in town. She said he tests for a MTHFR gene mutation, and he has actually developed a medicine that treats it. Basically if you have MTHFR, Folic Acid is poison to your body. Which, as we all know 90% of doctors and specifically OBs recommend LARGE amounts of this to be taken daily. Folic acid is a synthetic form of folate, for those of you who may not know. So if you have this gene mutation (or a few of them) any amount of folic acid is toxic to your body. So, he has developed this amazing supplement that has a different (real) kind of folate in it. Along with that there are MANY other amazing things in it. He actually started this to treat eye problems, and while doing more studies on it and the gene mutation, he has found that it treats, corrects, and reverses many other issues in the body, which most of those issues result from this gene mutation. So, I called and made an appointment and they got me in almost immediately (2 days after I called), They are super nice, the doctor is amazing. He is so devoted to his work it's so inspiring as someone who is also in the medical field. It's so awesome to see a doctor that treats your problems, instead of ignoring them or telling you you're stuck with them. He sent me to a lab and had them do a bunch of blood work to find out which genes are mutated and what nutrients I am lacking so he can find out how many pills I need to take a day. In 2 hours this amazing doctor gave me more hope than ANY of my OB's/Infertility specialists have in the 2 years I have seen them. He informed me that my eyes are super swollen on the inside, with the most swelling around the nerves. I also have a cholesterol plaque build up in my eyes. (Terrifying). Which, come to find out is what has been causing the blurred vision and major (frequent) headaches I have been having almost daily. Instead of throwing a bunch of prescription drugs at me, he is going to put me on this supplement. He said it will reverse all of that, and he has found in the (very very large) amount of female patients that he has seen who also have infertility and pcos and endometriosis, by giving them the pill and giving them real folate amongst many other amazing things in the pill, it treats the PCOS as well.. I have personally talked to a few women who's PCOS WENT AWAY, SYMPTOMS & ALL! On top of that AMAZING news, they ALSO GOT PREGNANT! AND HAD HEALTHY BABIES!!!! NO MISCARRIAGES, NO MORNING SICKNESS, NO BIRTH DEFECTS! Sounds too good to be true right? Well good news, it's not. He has all the proof to back it up. He's also partnered with other doctors in other specialties (such as Neurology, and OBGYN). I cried the whole way home from this appointment. I still can't wrap my head around it. One supplement, correcting almost everything that is wrong with my body. One supplement, that will (most likely) give me a beautiful baby. This has honestly changed everything. I had always planned to have 1 if I could, and then have my ovaries and uterus taken out. I didn't want to deal with them anymore. Well, this pill will help all of that. I can have a baby, my ovaries will be healthy, my uterus will be healthy. I can have however many babies I want. I can give my husband however many children he wants. I can no longer have horrible side effects from medicines like metformin, clomid, provera etc. I will no longer need those. I will no longer be depressed. I will no longer feel insufficient as a woman and a wife. I will no longer feel guilty for owning a 3br house with no kids. I will no longer have hair in places I shouldn't. I will no longer have days where I hate everything. I will no longer have mood swings. My body will be at optimal health. All because of folate. Such a simple (yet complex) fix. I will be getting my lab results back this week, and then he will decide how much I should take a day. From then on, I will gradually start to feel normal again. Normal? What does that even feel like? I honestly don't remember what it feels like to not feel like shit and hurt everyday. I owe this doctor my life, and the lady who referred me to him. He is amazing. I hope one day soon his medicine is nation, or world wide. Until then, I will take it religiously and refer people to him to be tested for this gene mutation to hopefully save them from the struggle I have gone through, and so many other people go through on the daily. Once I start the pill and can give a first hand on how it feels to not feel horrible, I will update. Until next time! Oh, and GO GET TESTED FOR MTHFR! :D <3 Baby Dust to ALL! :*

New Doctor = New Bad News

So I went to a new doctor on the 6th of June. She is amazing. I have only seen her once but she has answered every question I have ever had about PCOS, (even though the best way to learn about it is self education.) She is very highly experienced with treating and controlling PCOS and everything that comes with it. She is starting a long process of cleaning up my last infertility specialist's mess. He had me on Clomid, as I am sure you are aware if you have read previous posts. He had me on a low dose at first, but for every month that the Clomid did not work the following month he would up my dose by 50mg. Which may be the norm for infertility, but to be on clomid while having PCOS is dangerous, especially if you are totally un-monitored, like I was. I had no ultrasounds, follicle scans, blood work, nothing. Until the last cycle, and then I had 1 set of the 7dpo labs and they came back awful.. (as mentioned in previous post.) He also never monitored my hormones, or PCOS. The only time I had ultrasounds was a couple times that I went into the ER for large cysts. Which, I know the hormones don't have to be monitored too much, but it has been over a year since I have had mine checked, even after requesting for them to be drawn. So, eventually I gave up on this doctor ever listening to my questions, or concerns. So I was recommended by a friend to see the doctor that I see now, I see the NP of the doctor, actually. She is great. She is doing a full hormone work up on CD3, which I have to start the 10 days of provera to get to that point, of course. Then we will go from there, depending on what the blood work shows. She said to expect to be put on birth control for at least 4-6 months to give my ovaries a rest and get the cysts under control. I am pretty bummed about that. I also have started on a diabetic diet, and am still on the same dose of Metformin ER. I am extremely frustrated with the last doctor, I feel like he cheated me of a year of time in which I could have actually treated the PCOS, instead of solely the infertility. I have wasted so much time and a lot of money. He is seriously a great infertility doctor, but not so great with the PCOS. I loved him at the beginning, he had me on an agressive course of meds to fix the infertility and to end up pregnant... but it didn't take me long to realize that while doing that, the PCOS was spiraling out of control. I am hoping the blood work comes back good enough to not have to be on birth control for long, if at all... but I know I can't reasonably expect for that to happen, because it never ends up working that way. I am just sad and frustrated. I feel so defeated.

To go along with the last post........

Just to let everyone know. I have not forgotten about this blog. I just have not had anything new occur so far. I am in the process of seeing a new group of doctors who will hopefully check everything out a lot better than the last doctor has. I don't have anything new with the PCOS, I don't have anything new with TTC. We are kind of up in the air right now as far as all of that goes. I will update again after my doctor appt and let everyone know what's up! :) Stayyyy Tuuuneddd. :)

New Youtube Blog!

Hellooooo everyone I just wanted to post and let everyone who comes across this or is subscribed to this, know that I have started a YouTube channel and blog to go along with this blog since there are so many platforms of social media I figured I needed to branch out a little more. I get a lot of traffic on this page which is amazing, thank you all! I am hoping to have the same luck on my YouTube channel. The link will be attached. Please stop by, subscribe, even if you don't blog! Thank you all. :)

Completely defeated....

So, my first round of clomid I was completely unmonitored, I was on 50mg. I did NOT ovulate. So my doctor bumped it up to 100mg this past cycle. He ordered 7 day (post ovulation) labs. I originally was having troubles with the OPK's working for me. Every day they looked the same, that is until CD25. That day I tested for the hell of it. I got a positive. I immediately emailed my doctor and asked him to re-order the 7dpo lab work. I had it done yesterday, I got the test results today. In order to have ovulated, your progesterone level has to be 15.0. Most women's progesterone levels at any given time are around a 10. My result was 0.40. ZERO POINT FOUR. Seriously!!!!!!! I am SO Frustrated!!! So defeated!!!!! I am almost to the max dose of clomid, and still I have NOTHING to show for it! Not even a successful OVULATION! I GIVE UP! UGH! :'(

PCOS/TTC Update

Okay so I know I have been majorly neglecting the blog. I just graduated so I will now actually have free time to update this thing more often. Basically my entire goal with this blog is to spread awareness about PCOS and PCOS-caused infertility. If just 1 woman with PCOS learns something or finds comfort in my posts then what I am doing is paying off. That is the whole key to the diagnosis of this disease. You just have to be aware that such a thing exists and know the symptoms. 1 in 10 women have PCOS. I have had it since I hit puberty. I have never in my life had regular cycles and still to this day I only have a cycle if it is medically induced via provera or clomid. I had all of the symptoms, but when I went to get birth control when I was a teenager they didnt question any of the symptoms. They just threw the birth control at me like most doctors do. I do not at all understand how they think taking a woman who is completely hormonally imbalaned, and throwing MORE hormones (birth control) her way, helps at all. Birth control makes my symptoms WAY worse... and that is NO fun. So, that being said... just be in tune with your body. Know the signs, know the causes, and ASK your doctor to check you for it! ------------------------------------------------- Okay, now for the PCOS TTC update. We have been TTC for over a year. I currently see an AMAZING infertility specialist and he is awesome. I am on my 2nd round of clomid, this cycle it was upped from 50mg (last cycle) to 100mg (this cycle). OPK's do not work for me, every time I take one the lines look the EXACT same. So, i REALLY have to know my body and signs to know when I ovulate or around when I do so that I can go get my labs done 7 days after. Which brings me to my next topic, I have the 21 day progesterone draws. Basically that means that 6-7 days after I ovulate I go in for a blood test to ensure that I am actually ovulating and that I am ovulating well. If I am not this cycle, then I get my clomid dosage upped from 100mg to 150mg. I am hoping and praying with everything I have that I acutally ovulate this cycle. If I dont, or if these next couple rounds of clomid do not work then we move on to IUI (intrauterine insemination). I am not looking forward to that if we end up needing it. My HSG was pretty painful and i think the IUI is sort of the same thing. I am also on the maximum dose of metformin ER. My dosage is 1700. It has haulted my weight gain so far and I have only been on this dose for about a week. It has nasty side effects but I will do anything to keep the weight gain at bay for once. So anyways, that's pretty much all there is to update on my PCOS TTC journey thus far. I am on CD14 of this cycle, set to ovulate any day now, so keep me in your prayers. Oh, and for a couple people who had asked me, we also use Softcups, and Preseed. Softcups are designed for periods, they're a healthy alternative to tampons and pads. Its basically a cup with a little plastic bag on it, and it fits over your cervix and pelvic bone. I use it to hold the sperm right at the entrance of my cervix. No sperm come out and it doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. As for the Pre-Seed. It is a sperm friendly lube. It has vitamins and minerals in it to help the sperm swim further, live longer and it is a lube so it also assists in ensuring that you have the proper cervical mucus that will allow the sperm to live and get to where they need to be. This is going to be TMI... here's an explanation of how it works. After sex, (or during) your husband can put his little guys into the softcup, when you are finished with sex, put about 5-6 drops of preseed into the softcup and insert it over the cervix and leave it for a few hours. When you take it out, you will be surprised as most of the sperm will be gone. :) Sorry for the TMI but I had a few ladies ask so I thought I would share. :) That's all the update I have for now ladies. Baby dust to you all! <3

Trying to get back on track

I feel like lately all I do is post all of the reasons why I have not been posting. For that I feel awful. Bear with me! I am 3 months out from our wedding ceremony so I have been pretty swamped with work, class and TTC! We officially are on fertility medications. (I say we, but in reality i only WISH he could feel what I go through, haha:) I am on Clomid, we are trying it for three months and if it does not work we will move on to IUI. Today is actually my second day of the Clomid. So far it's good! I have only had a slight mood change and it has actually been a good mood change! I have been happier, I could cry at the drop of a hat but I feel like it would be a good cry lol. So far my side effects seem minimal. I have a headache sometimes, today was my first one but yesterday was the first dose so we will see. Other than that just mild mood swings and helllooooo ovaries! I usually am in pain from my ovaries 2-4 days of the week on average. I have a couple cysts pop a month, so hurting isn't new and I cant say its worth with the meds. They don't hurt per say, they just feel prominent, and sort of bloated. I am hoping the side effects stay minimal and we can conceive on the first round, but nothing ever seems to go that smooth so I am not getting my hopes up. Honestly, If the Clomid doesn't work for 3 cycles, we are taking a break. TTC has consumed our lives and marriage and that is exactly the one thing I was trying my damndest to avoid. I never knew trying to have something so natural and part of life could bring out such emotions and hurt. But, thankfully I have an amazing husband who may not always understand how I feel or why, but he puts in as much effort as he physically can and that always helps a ton. I do NOT want to sound like a giant cliche, but I would honestly 1000000000000% be absolutely LOST without him. He is my best friend and my confidant through all of this. Speaking of which, he is ready for bed so I am going to go lay down and put my head on his chest and forget the world for the night. I hope all of you reading this have someone in so substantial in your life. I don't know how I ever did it without him. Baby dust times a million to all of you TTC'ers. <3 Til Next Time Lovelies.